My Mom and my MIL

Guest Post Warning: This blogger loves to write and is known for long blog posts. She doesn't apologize for the lengthiness of this post. You can check out her personal blog here. Fortunately for you, her blog is about to celebrate its second birthday on March 28. Check it out and look for the birthday post, you could be the lucky winner of the blog birthday giveaway!!!

Phyliss (aka Nana No Name) is here this week keeping Lily while I (Brittany) go back to work. Monday was my first day back after being off since December 7 on bedrest and maternity leave. Before I start blogging about some new church recipes, I want to say a few things about "mi madre."

1.If you've ever been around her for even a split second, you have probably laughed REALLY hard! My fondest memories with my mother are laughing with her until tears are rushing down our cheeks and our abs are in some horrid pain, like we just can't bare to laugh anymore. As much as I have laughed with her, I'm sure there is a six pack of abs somewhere under all my baby weight!

2. Phyliss has a disease. A speaking disease. It's almost as if she speaks a different language and we commonly refer to it as "Phylissisms". It's yet to be truly diagnosed or given a name and there is no known cure. Unfortunately, the disease is genetic and gets worse with each generation. Sorry Lily, I'm afraid it's inevitable; there isn't much hope.

If I may interject here, (this is Phyliss) there is a formal name for my "disease." Actually it is not a disease but rather a linguistic phenomenom. It is called Spoonerism. William Archibald Spooner, a Brit, was famous for speaking in public the way I speak among my friends. Spooner was an ordained deacon in The Church of England and a professor at New College, Oxford for sixty years. He was known to be quite absentminded. I am in good company. Some of the spoonerisms attributed but not substantiated to Mr. Spooner are

"Come into the arms of a shoving leopard."

"It is kisstomary to cuss the bride."

"Let's raise our glasses to the queer old Dean."

"Mardon me padam, this pie is occupued. May I sew you to another sheet."

"The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer." Is the only substantiated Spoonerism of Mr. Spooner. You are welcome to comment and translate any of these quotes.

Shel Silverstein wrote a children's book of poetry, Runny Babbit, published after his death. The entire book is written in the language both Spooner and I share. Brittany discovered the book and made sure I had my very own copy. For obvious reasons it is one of my favorites.

3. She is a WONDERFUL wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, children's minister, friend, aunt, niece, and any other title she carries. She is selfless, helpful, loving, hard working, and devoted. Read Proverbs 31 and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Mom wants me to write a post on two recipes she has cooked in the past two weeks--Crock Pot Pizza and Spicy Roast Beef. I'm not so sure I can say good things about both recipes. So here goes...

Crock Pot Pizza

Ironically, this recipe is my mother-in-law's recipe, Teresa. I will rave all the day long about my wonderful MIL, but I cannot say the same about the recipe. Teresa is very similar to my mother in many ways. She was born only 4 days after my mom and the Von Kanel family was friends with my family long before Brent and I started to date. I remember my family inviting the VK's to the lake one weekend when I was in middle school (I had a serious crush on him at the time). Brent, a friend of mine, and I played LIFE that weekend and I remember imagining that Brent was the driver in my minivan. HAHA...now he really is :) I've always felt comfortable around Teresa because I knew her as a friend of the family before I knew her as family. She is also an excellent mother, having 3 children of her own. She raised an amazing son who is now my husband. I'm serious...he's amazing. And I'm sure all of his characteristics can be credited to his parents who taught him how to love his wife as Christ does. I love my in-laws and I'm extremely thankful for them :) Now, for the recipe. Let's get something straight...I LOATHE pizza, so it's obvious why I wouldn't like this recipe. Teresa knows it, thanks to Brent informing her after we had just begun dating, so it's okay that I tell you this. I know it's wrong to hate, but I do NOT feel guilty for hating pizza. There's just something about Italian spices that make me lose my appetite...like those in pepperoni and the sauce (not to mention the smell). I would honestly prefer to not eat than to eat pizza. It has nothing to do with my MIL's cooking (she's a great cook), it's the ingredients I don't like. However, I'm the only person that feels this way. Brent loves it and I cook it ONCE a year, and I do not cook it more frequently under any circumstances. I make it for his birthday. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to make it this year because we went out to eat this year. Ben and his friend, Parker, were at my parent's house for part of their spring break. Mom made it and between the two of them, they licked that crock pot clean. One of the great advantages is that it's a super easy recipe and it's perfect to feed a family. Just like all other crock pot recipes, you throw it in, let it cook, and BAM there's your dinner! My advice: make this recipe a staple in your house. Forget that I don't like it. I'm weird, I mean, who doesn't like pizza? Just me.

Spicy Roast Beef
This is supposed to be an oven roast, but Mom made it for us this week and put it in the crock pot and it tasted delish! Again, it's an easy one and feeds a family. I love to cook a roast so I'm always excited to find a way to spice it up! One day during our first year of marriage, I put a roast in the crock pot before I went to work. I came home and couldn't wait to get in the house so I could smell that yummy roast! I walked in and AHHH it smelled like a home cooked meal. I went in the kitchen to take a peek at it, lifted the lid, only to find that the roast was just as it was when I left that morning. I had turned it on but never plugged it in! I guess my nose was anticipating the aroma so much that it sent false signals to my brain. It wasn't the first and it won't be the last time I mess up a meal.

Here are the recipes!

Crockpot Pizza
1 1/2 lbs. hamburger, browned and drained
16 oz. shredded mozzarella cheese
1 onion, chopped
1 pkg. sliced pepperoni
2/3 box rigatoni noodles, cooked
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can mushrooms
2 jars pizza sauce

Directions: Alternate layers in crockpot as follows--hamburger, noodles, cheese, soup, mushrooms, onions, sauce, and pepperoni. Hear 4 hours on low in crockpot. This is Phyliss interjecting again. My crockpot apparently cooks hotter than some. Four hours was too long, three probably would have been perfect.

Spicy Roast Beef
3-4 lbs. lean beef rump roast
1 c. Dale's steak seasoning liquid
1/4 c. McCormick's Spicy Montreal steak seasoning
4 c. water
1 med. roasting bag

Directions: Place meat in roasting bag. Sprinkle McCormick spices over meat. Add Dale's sauce and water to bag. Place roasting bag in roasting pan. Punch steam escape holes in bag. Bake in 200 degree over for 8 hours. Me again, like Brittany said I did cook this in the crock pot. There was more liquid than I usually put in a crockpot, but I used it to make a delicious gravy to go over the rice we had with the roast. This recipe was contributed by Barbara P. Barbara and her husband, Troy, have been committed members of our church as long as I can remember. They were my Training Union teachers when I was in eight grade.

Paula's Done It Again

I have learned a lot from Paula P. over the years. Two things I have used just recently.

Terry and I have mini blinds on the bedroom windows and micro blinds on the bathroom windows. The slats on micro blinds are only a half inch wide making them perfect for small bathroom windows. I purchased ours over a decade ago. Last fall, while pulling the cord on the blind in my bathroom I managed to pull the entire blind off the window. The bright, hot sun had deteriorated the plastic brackets that connect the blind to the window and one little last tug was all it took to completely destroy what was left of it. I decided to take my showers in Terry's bathroom for the remainder of the week and look for a new blind over the weekend. Do you remember how old I said the blinds were? Apparently, they are no longer in style and now no one carries them. The week of using Terry's shower turned into four. However, in October, two boys from the Ranch were coming to spend the weekend and I knew we could not all share one bathroom. What to do? Obviously we are not too concerned about style so we thumb-tacked a big pink beach towel to the window, seen easily by anyone driving by the house. The boys did not mind and the towel served its purpose until this past Saturday afternoon. I got the bright idea to move the blind in Terry's bathroom to mine. His bathroom is on the back of the house, so I figured it would not matter. The blind has been hanging in the window for a long time receiving the occasional wipe down when I cleaned the rest of the bathroom. Gunky is probably the best word to describe the formerly white blind. The Windex and sponge were not cutting through the mess and then I remembered Paula. Years ago she told me she removed her blinds and cleaned them in the bathtub. Great idea! It only took me about fifteen minutes and now I have micro blinds in my bathroom that look like new. Thank you, Paula for sharing your housekeeping tip.

The other thing I have learned from Paula is how to make a delicious roast in the crockpot. I love my crockpot and I am always looking for new ways to use it. Last Tuesday night Terry, Gus and I enjoyed Paula's Crockpot Italian Beef. Gus is the beneficiary of some tasty delight from the cookbook each Tuesday. He and I are taking a Biblical counseling class together along with a couple of other church members. He gets a free delicious meal and I get an expert opinion on the menu of the evening. It is my hope that he will provide a guest blog for us again in the future.

Crockpot Italian Beef

3 to 4 lb boneless beef roast 1 t garlic salt

3 c water 1 t basil

1 t salt 1 pkg. Good Season's Italian salad dressing1 t 1 t pepper mix

1 t onion salt

Place roast in crockpot on low. Mix water and all the seasonings and the dry salad dressing mix. Pour over beef. Cook on low for 12 hours (I did not have 12 hours so I cooked mine on high for 4 and low for 4.) Remove roast; shred beef and return to broth for 15 minutes. Serve on buns, hoagie rolls or over french bread.

Five Loaves and Two Fish

Jesus can feed five thousand with five loaves and two fish, but I can only feed four hungry boys with three loaves of white bread and four racks of ribs. We spent the weekend at The Big Oak Boys Ranch. Terry and I are relief parents for the house parents in one of the homes four or five times a year. I did not prepare ribs for them; we took them to Dreamland in Huntsville Saturday night for Brent's birthday party. However, I did use the boys as guinea pigs for two of the church cookbook recipes. The boys usually eat anything and everything I put in front of them, so I knew I would get good reviews for these two recipes. In addition to the cookbook preparations, I also made my famous snickerdoodles. The boys have come to expect them and I dare not come to the Ranch without the proper ingredients. Little do the boys know, but all I do is make Winn Dixie brand break and bake cookies. As a matter of fact, the youngest boy in the house now makes the snickerdoodles for me while a prepare other foods. He loves to work with me in the kitchen and I find I spend the majority of the weekend preparing something for someone to eat. Please don't give away my secret about the snickerdoodles.

This weekend for Saturday lunch I made Carissa C.'s Hankie Pankies. You can find this recipe in the appetizer section, but a similar recipe called Miniature Pizzas submitted by my mom can be found in the "This and That" section. The boys were so full from the snickerdoodles they had been sneaking all morning they did not eat as many of the little pizzas as I had expected. However, we reheated them the next day for lunch after church and they had no trouble eating the whole plateful.

For dinner Sunday evening I prepared my mom's Cheeseburger Soup. I have to admit I did not follow the recipe exactly. I doubled it and also added an extra pound of ground beef. Remember I was feeding hungry boys and knew they would devour this soup. My sweet husband peeled and diced five pounds of potatoes while I chopped and prepared all the other vegetables that are hidden in this recipe. The name of the recipe is very deceiving because there are several vegetables cleverly disguised within all the cheesy goodness. My mom was always careful to provide yummy and healthy meals for us. Now I look forward to the rare times when I get to be with my parents in their mountain home. Good food is always a part of the special times we share. As I mentioned before, Brittany and I laugh good and hard when we are the kitchen. The same is true of my mom and me. Imagine what it is like when the three of us are together.

Hanky Panky

1 lb. ground beef 1 lb. Velveeta cheese

1 lb. sausage 1 loaf sm. rye bread

Brown ground beef and sausage. Drain. Cube Velveeta and add to ground beef and sausage until melted. Cut bread into quarters. Spoon desired amount of ground beef/sausage/cheese mixture onto each quarter. Place in oven at 375 for 15 to 20 minutes or until toasted. May be frozen and reheated in oven.

Cheeseburger Soup

1/2 lb. ground beef 3 c chicken broth

3/4 c chopped onion 4 c diced potatoes

3/4 c shredded carrots 1/4 c flour

3/4 c diced celery 8 oz cheese, cubed

1 t dried basil 1 1/2 c milk

1 t dried parsley salt and pepper to taste

4 T margarine, divided

In a 3-quart saucepan, brown beef, drain and set aside. In same pan, saute onion, carrots, celery, basil, and parsley in 1 T margarine. Add broth, potatoes and beef; cover and simmer until potatoes are tender. Mix and cook 3 T margarine and flour 3 to 4 minutes Add to soup; bring to boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes. Add cheese, milk, salt, and pepper; cook and stir until cheese melts. Yields 8 servings.