My Mom and my MIL

Guest Post Warning: This blogger loves to write and is known for long blog posts. She doesn't apologize for the lengthiness of this post. You can check out her personal blog here. Fortunately for you, her blog is about to celebrate its second birthday on March 28. Check it out and look for the birthday post, you could be the lucky winner of the blog birthday giveaway!!!

Phyliss (aka Nana No Name) is here this week keeping Lily while I (Brittany) go back to work. Monday was my first day back after being off since December 7 on bedrest and maternity leave. Before I start blogging about some new church recipes, I want to say a few things about "mi madre."

1.If you've ever been around her for even a split second, you have probably laughed REALLY hard! My fondest memories with my mother are laughing with her until tears are rushing down our cheeks and our abs are in some horrid pain, like we just can't bare to laugh anymore. As much as I have laughed with her, I'm sure there is a six pack of abs somewhere under all my baby weight!

2. Phyliss has a disease. A speaking disease. It's almost as if she speaks a different language and we commonly refer to it as "Phylissisms". It's yet to be truly diagnosed or given a name and there is no known cure. Unfortunately, the disease is genetic and gets worse with each generation. Sorry Lily, I'm afraid it's inevitable; there isn't much hope.

If I may interject here, (this is Phyliss) there is a formal name for my "disease." Actually it is not a disease but rather a linguistic phenomenom. It is called Spoonerism. William Archibald Spooner, a Brit, was famous for speaking in public the way I speak among my friends. Spooner was an ordained deacon in The Church of England and a professor at New College, Oxford for sixty years. He was known to be quite absentminded. I am in good company. Some of the spoonerisms attributed but not substantiated to Mr. Spooner are

"Come into the arms of a shoving leopard."

"It is kisstomary to cuss the bride."

"Let's raise our glasses to the queer old Dean."

"Mardon me padam, this pie is occupued. May I sew you to another sheet."

"The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer." Is the only substantiated Spoonerism of Mr. Spooner. You are welcome to comment and translate any of these quotes.

Shel Silverstein wrote a children's book of poetry, Runny Babbit, published after his death. The entire book is written in the language both Spooner and I share. Brittany discovered the book and made sure I had my very own copy. For obvious reasons it is one of my favorites.

3. She is a WONDERFUL wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, children's minister, friend, aunt, niece, and any other title she carries. She is selfless, helpful, loving, hard working, and devoted. Read Proverbs 31 and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Mom wants me to write a post on two recipes she has cooked in the past two weeks--Crock Pot Pizza and Spicy Roast Beef. I'm not so sure I can say good things about both recipes. So here goes...

Crock Pot Pizza

Ironically, this recipe is my mother-in-law's recipe, Teresa. I will rave all the day long about my wonderful MIL, but I cannot say the same about the recipe. Teresa is very similar to my mother in many ways. She was born only 4 days after my mom and the Von Kanel family was friends with my family long before Brent and I started to date. I remember my family inviting the VK's to the lake one weekend when I was in middle school (I had a serious crush on him at the time). Brent, a friend of mine, and I played LIFE that weekend and I remember imagining that Brent was the driver in my minivan. HAHA...now he really is :) I've always felt comfortable around Teresa because I knew her as a friend of the family before I knew her as family. She is also an excellent mother, having 3 children of her own. She raised an amazing son who is now my husband. I'm serious...he's amazing. And I'm sure all of his characteristics can be credited to his parents who taught him how to love his wife as Christ does. I love my in-laws and I'm extremely thankful for them :) Now, for the recipe. Let's get something straight...I LOATHE pizza, so it's obvious why I wouldn't like this recipe. Teresa knows it, thanks to Brent informing her after we had just begun dating, so it's okay that I tell you this. I know it's wrong to hate, but I do NOT feel guilty for hating pizza. There's just something about Italian spices that make me lose my appetite...like those in pepperoni and the sauce (not to mention the smell). I would honestly prefer to not eat than to eat pizza. It has nothing to do with my MIL's cooking (she's a great cook), it's the ingredients I don't like. However, I'm the only person that feels this way. Brent loves it and I cook it ONCE a year, and I do not cook it more frequently under any circumstances. I make it for his birthday. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to make it this year because we went out to eat this year. Ben and his friend, Parker, were at my parent's house for part of their spring break. Mom made it and between the two of them, they licked that crock pot clean. One of the great advantages is that it's a super easy recipe and it's perfect to feed a family. Just like all other crock pot recipes, you throw it in, let it cook, and BAM there's your dinner! My advice: make this recipe a staple in your house. Forget that I don't like it. I'm weird, I mean, who doesn't like pizza? Just me.

Spicy Roast Beef
This is supposed to be an oven roast, but Mom made it for us this week and put it in the crock pot and it tasted delish! Again, it's an easy one and feeds a family. I love to cook a roast so I'm always excited to find a way to spice it up! One day during our first year of marriage, I put a roast in the crock pot before I went to work. I came home and couldn't wait to get in the house so I could smell that yummy roast! I walked in and AHHH it smelled like a home cooked meal. I went in the kitchen to take a peek at it, lifted the lid, only to find that the roast was just as it was when I left that morning. I had turned it on but never plugged it in! I guess my nose was anticipating the aroma so much that it sent false signals to my brain. It wasn't the first and it won't be the last time I mess up a meal.

Here are the recipes!

Crockpot Pizza
1 1/2 lbs. hamburger, browned and drained
16 oz. shredded mozzarella cheese
1 onion, chopped
1 pkg. sliced pepperoni
2/3 box rigatoni noodles, cooked
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can mushrooms
2 jars pizza sauce

Directions: Alternate layers in crockpot as follows--hamburger, noodles, cheese, soup, mushrooms, onions, sauce, and pepperoni. Hear 4 hours on low in crockpot. This is Phyliss interjecting again. My crockpot apparently cooks hotter than some. Four hours was too long, three probably would have been perfect.

Spicy Roast Beef
3-4 lbs. lean beef rump roast
1 c. Dale's steak seasoning liquid
1/4 c. McCormick's Spicy Montreal steak seasoning
4 c. water
1 med. roasting bag

Directions: Place meat in roasting bag. Sprinkle McCormick spices over meat. Add Dale's sauce and water to bag. Place roasting bag in roasting pan. Punch steam escape holes in bag. Bake in 200 degree over for 8 hours. Me again, like Brittany said I did cook this in the crock pot. There was more liquid than I usually put in a crockpot, but I used it to make a delicious gravy to go over the rice we had with the roast. This recipe was contributed by Barbara P. Barbara and her husband, Troy, have been committed members of our church as long as I can remember. They were my Training Union teachers when I was in eight grade.